A friend recently shared that he doesn’t tell those who know him as gay that he no longer lives the “gay lifestyle,” because he prefers to keep it quiet and doesn’t know what to say. As he spoke, I did my best to control my confused, agitated expression, but I am not sure I succeeded. I have been given the gift of truth, as have all of us in the Courage apostolate. Life-changing, soul-saving truth. For the last 8 years, I have done my best to share this good news through my b

I now understand my call to priesthood and fatherhood as that of a sacrificial servant of and for Christ. How do I live this call faithfully? In a moderate, balanced way rather than either of the extremes I grew up with. As a kid, I was blessed to grow up with a dad who believed in a rougher, tougher version of serving fatherhood: teaching us how to do for ourselves. This sometimes meant leaving us in difficult situations we would have liked help out of, and some people would

As I read over the manual for loved ones of people experiencing SSA from Encourage, I am struck, in particular, by its section on the acceptance we want to feel. What stands out to me is the need for that acceptance and the reality that many of us who seek it already have it in our relationships in regard to everything in our lives except our same-sex activity. Because we identify ourselves this way exclusively, and because society encourages us to do so, this behavioral choi

The word privileged is thrown around a lot. So much so that we who see the manipulation behind its overuse can easily forget how privileged we are and our duty to those whom God has given us as our charges. “If the goods of earth are extensions of my person and if I love my neighbor as myself, I naturally share my good things. It is idle for me to proclaim concern for the poor, the homeless, for example, and at the same time indulge in elegant dining and drinking, pleasure tr

Some churchmen and some cops share an unfortunate trait. In their zeal for unity, they can lose sight of whom they serve. To protect and serve means doing what is best and right for the community you police, not necessarily for fellow officers. Likewise, to serve the Church means to serve Christ, who is the truth. So serving the truth does not always mean getting along with—or standing in “unity” with—other clergy. If a cop sees another cop mistreating someone they are suppos

Girls are gross...mmm no. Boys are cute...mmm no. As a child, neither of these experiences fit me. I found neither sex particularly exciting or repulsive. I do remember being excited by the battle between good and evil in Star Wars, and that was where my focus was as a kid. But that wasn’t good enough for the world. Garrett, go hold her hand. Put your arm around her. Oooohhhh, Garrett has a girlfriend. These pushes toward sexualization were common in my early double digits, a

Last week, I started praying again with two of my coworkers after taking a long break because, in my mind, they weren’t doing their part. I asked one if she reads the Bible daily, and she said no, but she would like to. So I started sending her one of the daily Mass readings each day. Yesterday I forgot, and she asked why I didn’t send it, which frustrated me, but this morning I did. I then felt it would be good to do this for others who don't have others to look to for Catho

Yesterday, I reread my journal entries from about six weeks into the pandemic lockdown. In them, I reflected on having once lived a more disciplined life, reliant on Jesus and His Church, and how, over time, I shifted back to depending on worldly comforts. My routines shifted when Brian and I began nightly check-ins, often late at night. Bedtimes moved from 9:30-10:30 to as late as 2 or 3 a.m. Morning rising slipped later, sometimes causing me to rush through prayers I used t

A few Sundays ago, a friend of mine was speaking with my housemate Brian and told him that he was not feeling well. Brian offered to take him to urgent care. I was frustrated with this because I feel it is important to help people, in some situations, by forcing them to help themselves. This is the way of my earthly father. Teach them to be self-sufficient by leaving them to do for themselves. While this can be an effective way to help people grow, it can also be detrimental

Yesterday, a client and I were discussing the coming plague of cicadas. She said she doesn’t understand what the point of their lives is, since they live for such a short time. Our conversation got me thinking about how we often misunderstand the value and purpose of things we do not immediately grasp. I started to explain my theory, beginning with “we assume because their life above ground is short that they serve no purpose.” She cut me off with some scientific mumbo jumbo,

City of God 2:27 “... The whole city learned in public both by the words and gestures of the actors. They saw that the gods delighted in the commission of these things, and therefore believed that they wished them not only to be exhibited to them, but to be imitated by themselves...” We all learn through example, unless we have been given, by almighty God, the ability to see past example. When we see virtue and discipline, we tend to imitate them. This is not necessarily beca

Today is Good Friday. The day Jesus, who had already sacrificed by lowering Himself to take on human flesh, made an even greater...

Back more than a year ago, when the initial stay-at-home order ended, DC Mayor Bowser made a comment in relation to worship service and Mass that was not the beginning of, but revived a feeling in me that a line had been crossed in our view of our own bodies, minds, and spirits, and those of our fellow man. She said something along the lines of, “We will allow worship again.” This ruffled my feathers. Feathers that were already ruffled by a few other statements and incidents.

One of the plants in my bedroom needs to be transplanted. It no longer bounces back to life after I water and feed it. I do not enjoy transplanting, so I avoid it, and the plant continues to live in a droopy state. Getting the plant out of the pot in one chunk without tearing it apart is difficult. Soil ends up everywhere. After transplanting, the plant often goes into a bit of shock and droops even more than before. So is life. We often avoid change because it is messy, espe

My housemate and I discussed his rough day at work yesterday before our night prayer. Afterwards, he was obviously agitated. When I asked why, he said it was partially due to my “communication style,” which “lacks in empathy.” Empathy means understanding and sharing another's feelings. Empathetic means showing this understanding and sharing. So, according to these definitions, I do have empathy: I understand and sometimes share others' feelings. Where I struggle is in how I s

As we walked into Mass this morning, my housemate Brian moved anxiously to make sure he got hand sanitizer before entering the church. I snickered. He said, “What?” angrily, and I said, “Nothing.” My sense of humor is a gift from God, but as with all other gifts, it must be exercised appropriately and with discretion. I often laugh at things that make me uncomfortable, and I admittedly find it funny to make others uncomfortable with my sense of humor sometimes. This means som

I have a problem with buying books and with holding on to them rather than sharing the goodness in them with others. I imagine our Lord saying to me: 'These books you cling to are nothing. Emptiness. The emptiness I want for you is everything. Fullness. Poverty is My gift for you and My Church.' How disappointed He is to see her members reject it. 'I've spoken so clearly yet I am ignored. By those in positions of power and also by the sheep. Poverty is not an option, it is n

Last night, as I drove home, the sun and clouds in the sky were beautiful. I was following my drivevangelization routine, driving in a way conducive to Catholicism's call to be obedient to the laws of men, so only going 65mph. As I admired the beautiful sky, a car flew past me, and I thought, what a shame they will miss out on the beauty because they are rushing about like Lazarus’ sister Martha. I was reminded of my own personal call to slow down from when I was not working

Intimacy is what the Lord wants for us. Intimacy that can only be had through the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist. In our weariness in the war for truth, we deny the many “few” who seek Him the true intimacy required to spend eternity with Him. This is the price of our leaders' weariness, and so of our own resulting weariness. We retreat from the battlefield of truth and so allow error to enter onto the path that leads to eternal life with Christ. The path use

Weariness is dangerous. It opens the door to, and sometimes leads us through it, into decisions and behaviors that are contrary to what is best for us and for others. Victory or compromise are common outcomes of war, but the end of a war, due to weariness, can leave the war's rationale unresolved and lead to insecurity and instability. The opening to the book “The Pope Benedict Reader” from Word on Fire states, “ Weary of the somewhat tired scholasticism that dominated Church