End In the Flesh

Galatians 2:11-3:14 “... After beginning in the spirit, are you now to end in the flesh? Have you had such remarkable experiences all to no purpose...”

I have had and continue to have "remarkable experiences" of Christ's love for me. They accompanied me into a life in the Spirit. Over time, despite these experiences, I have slowly slipped back into the flesh. Sexually acting out. Weighing now 193 lbs. Sleeping in rather than going to Mass or keeping other commitments. This is a fleshly life. A hedonistic life based on pleasure-seeking rather than Christ-seeking. Jesus wants me back. His Church needs me, as it needs each of us, and He has a burning love for me. How do I turn back? 

Surrender is the answer. I am a weak, broken man. I can not do this for myself. He has done it for me in the past and will do it again. I have so much more to overcome now than the first time I turned back. My wicked behavior is more entrenched, and the wounds at the heart of these behaviors are more deeply rooted. 

The purpose of these experiences is love, not mission alone. He wants me to let Him love me and, through that love, love others. Without the love of Jesus in my heart, the love I exhibit and experience will always be lacking in some way. 

Jesus, please pour Your love into my heart. Fill me with the love You have for our Father that I may love Him and allow Him to love me into being a vessel of His love for the world that needs You so desperately. I need You desperately. I need the pure love of my Brother, the Savior, and my Father. Of the Spirit that dwells in me and His spouse, our Mother Mary. Please help me to live in the Spirit not the flesh. Let not the experiences I’ve had been for no purpose. 

I do not want to end in the flesh. I want to live in the spirit. Lord, help me. 

Written 2/9/21 AD

Human-written, AI spell-checked

Image from Fineartamerica.com