The Trauma of Transplantation

One of the plants in my bedroom needs to be transplanted. It no longer bounces back to life after I water and feed it. I do not enjoy transplanting, so I avoid it, and the plant continues to live in a droopy state.

Getting the plant out of the pot in one chunk without tearing it apart is difficult. Soil ends up everywhere. After transplanting, the plant often goes into a bit of shock and droops even more than before. So is life.

We often avoid change because it is messy, especially if we’ve already made big changes and have experienced the mess. Thankfully, before moving, I’d lived in one pot for 21 years. I knew I was drooping emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, but did not want the necessary transplant, though I knew I needed it. As time went on, my droopiness became frustrating, especially considering I was watering and fertilizing myself daily with Mass, Eucharist, Scripture, spiritual reading, and spiritual direction. So I accepted that I needed a transplant and dove into my new pot.

The shock of the transplant manifested itself before I was even out of my old pot. Confused feelings about the person I was moving in with triggered anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, which eventually led to the temporary need for medication. I’d told my old landlord I was leaving well in advance of the transplant so that I could not change my mind, and it was a good thing I did because the pre-transplant problems were enough to make me want to change course.

Once the transplant occurred, there were a few days where I appeared to be stabilizing, but then the transplant shock settled in hard, and I drooped severely. And the drooping was apparent to others, causing them to question whether this transplant was a good idea. They were judging, as was I, the goodness of the transplant based on the immediate fruit it did or didn’t bear. Thankfully, once in the new pot, there was no way to go back to the old one, though I tried to figure out ways to do so. And so by God's grace, I soldiered through.

Now, a year and a half after the transplant, I spoke with a client yesterday about where I am in my life, and she commented on how peaceful I seem. I have noticed the stability of my mind and soul despite the uncertainty of the path I have taken. My roots are spreading into the new fertile soil and space provided by the new pot I dwell in. I see new fruit growing. New fruit that would not have been possible had I not, by God's grace, entered into and embraced the shocking transplant.  

Human -Written, AI Spell-Checked 5/14/21 AD

Image from Golgesiz Sozler from Pixaby.com